Human: paradox and privilege

I don’t always feel excited and optimistic about the fact that I’m a human. There are times when I feel all the suffering and struggling. Those times when I think that being human is a mistake, that human is a weak and complicated being who cry, sacrifice, get angry, fight, start wars, and fall just for some kind of … illusory things? I had to admit that I was wrong. I grew up and now I understand (or at least I have that initial understanding) things I didn’t back then. 

Let’s jump to a masterpiece from a genius, Leonardo Da Vinci, Vitruvian Man. Created in 1487, a drawing of Vitruvian Man represents a man in two superimposed positions with his arms and legs apart and inscribed in a circle and square. This masterpiece is said to be a blend of mathematics and art during the Renaissance which demonstrates Da Vinci’s deep understanding of proportion. It’s very well known and understood that Da Vinci was inspired by the dualistic nature of existence of which human always try to reconcile: the material and spiritual aspects of life. Indeed, Da Vinci attempted to correlate these two natures with this drawing of the Vitruvian Man, the square symbolising the material and the circle symbolising the spiritual.


What is this all really about? I see human as a race indeed with a hard mission, i.e. maintaining both material and spiritual aspects. It’s said that the process of being human is all about maintaining our connection with Soul/Spirit/God or whatever you want to call that Higher Force, while nurturing this body in this physical dimension. That is the “challenge” proposed by the Godhead after we asked to experience a life in physical body. Yes, we’re the one who asked, in case you don’t realise (or don’t remember). At first, I couldn’t imagine things that are more paradoxical than this. I meant, how can you get paid for your job while you so believe in the concept of compassion and love? Feeding your body well while controlling your lust? Pursuing your dreams while being in service to others? Making love while protecting your purity, so to speak? Oh, those kind of thoughts stayed in me for quite some time.

But, you know, I grew up. That’s the point of I’m being here, after all, right? To remember and to grow. I’ve accepted that I’m a paradoxical being called human. In front of the Universe, I can feel so big and small at the same time. I can feel that my existence is significant to the Universe yet, at the same time, I can feel that I’m nothing compared to this huge and mega Universe. When I stand facing the sea, feeling the warm of sunlight touching my skin, knowing that mysteries still remain to be mysteries how hard I try to unveil them, I realise that I’m no one. Unnamed, untitled, unknown, what’s remain is a good feeling of emptiness. However, I can also feel that the soul resides in my body is a divine spark, contains an ancient wisdom of life and creation inherited by the Source; this is when I feel how divine I am.

i dance until the sun goes down
my dance is my devotion
to life, to the soul of the Universe

there down my feet is another form of life
to its water I open my heart
for then I see my own shadow

above me is the sky
below me is the sea
behind me is the sun
ahead of me is mystery

how all of this
makes me feel so small
and big
at the same time

How paradoxical human race is. Maintaining both material and spiritual aspects, feeling big and small at the same time, no doubt it is a paradox.

Dimensions of human

True that human is a complicated being, for inside of us there are a number aspects of self. Some call them body, mind, and soul. Or body, mind, and spirit. Others mention them as basic-self, conscious-self, and higher-self. Sigmund Freud distinguish the aspects of self as id, ego, and superego. The three aspects can also be simplified into shadow and light or ego and spirit. Back again to the dualistic natures of human. I frequently mention about my view on light and shadow, and just yesterday posted something in regards to the idea of ego on my Instagram.


As I understand (or probably understand), ego is not something that we should afraid of. We have ego because we’re human. In fact, human must have ego. The moment when our soul decided to incarnate on Earth as human, there comes ego as a part of us. That’s what makes us sleep, take a bath, eat and drink, create Instagram account, marry someone we love, have a good job, buy books, watch movies, pursue our dreams — at least that’s how it works for me.

Therefore, to me, our goal is never about eliminating, eradicating, forgetting, or even losing our ego. Why? Because ego is a form of divine expression, it’s a microcosm of the divine (which is the macrocosm), that’s how Universe experiences itself through us. The ultimate goal is then about marrying ego to spirit; aligning our ego-self (basic-self) with conscious-self (mind) and higher-self (spirit). It’s when our ego is in different direction with the spirit that we experience “disaster”.

Privileged life on Earth

It’s said that only the brave souls decide to reincarnate on Earth. Due to its diversity and density, living on Earth becomes exciting and challenging at the same time. What a beautiful experience incarnating in this physical body at this time on this beautiful planet. In his book, Cosmos (which I love!), Carl Sagan said  that living on earth is a privilege. We’re living on a planet that is not too random, yet it is not too predictable. I couldn’t agree more with his saying.

Earth is about order within disorder. Phenomena on Earth are not extremely random, hence prediction on weather and rain, population growth, financial and economic growth can be made; gives us opportunities to learn and explore more about the pattern. However, Earth still lets us live with mysteries; there are things that unpredictable and become something that human never understand. Don’t you think that we’re lucky?

The galactic history of beings on Earth is also something that interests me. I’m sure I’ll write about that in the future. For now, just be proud of being a human. Human is a complicated being who get a lot of attention from other beings out there. With all the tears and laughs, we’re merging the archetype of diurnal and nocturnal inherited by the Father and Mother.

Stealing a Game of Thrones series’ title, we’re the living Song of Ice and Fire.

for you, starchild and earthkeeper

thank you for not giving up on humanity



Satya uses tarot and oracle cards as tools to guide and heal others, in which meditation is incorporated to help her get centered and align with her higher self. Satya is also passionate about flower and plant healing with trainings in Bach Flower Remedies. She is the author of self-published book "Star and The Dust", a compendium of poetries exploring wisdom from earth and wisdom from stars and how to bridge both.

Satya loves mathematics and science, also esoteric and metaphysical things. She loves gazing upon the stars, also walking in a garden full of flowers. She loves working with numbers, also with words. Besides growing House of Prajna with her husband, Jati, she is currently pursuing her PhD in Operations Research at North Carolina State University in the USA. Satya believes that science and spirituality are a “twin flame”; to her, both of them speak the same thing with just different languages.

Visit her on IG @satyapparamita